In the modern world, divorce is becoming a common issue, just look at the statistics desconsoladoras to realize that. At the same time, everyone dreams to build a happy marriage and live with your partner in love and harmony for many years.
Great.guru met tips psychotherapists and divorced people, to know how to avoid errors and to save a marriage.
1. Mutual respect
A marital union a harmonious, based on mutual respect. Even when you’re really angry with your partner, express your feelings with respect.
The respect allows you to put an end to the situations when one of the companions seems to be trying to manipulate your partner or to push your position.
2. Do not compare your partner with others
Have mercy on yourself and your relationship, do not compare yourself to your other half with the couples of your friends, and especially don’t do it with strange people on Instagram or other social networks.
Remember that, many times, the others do not transmit a real image, but a desired of your life and your relationships. So we don’t know for sure if the husbands of other women surround them with rose petals every day, take them to fancy restaurants, or they give away fur coats. And even if so, that does not mean that these couples are happy.
3. Take care of your body
Never stop to take care of you. The happiness of the family also depends on the sex. And they, many times, are based on the attractive.
Take care of your body. Waiver of the worn pants, robes filthy and the slippers of old. Say yes to a slender physique and clothing house in good condition. This applies to both men and women.
4. First your partner, then your children
Parenting requires us to take care of himself selflessly to the children, but it will be a mistake to sacrifice our marriage on the mission of being parents. In the first place, the world should not revolve exclusively around the children, and in the second, do not forget that the family starts in a couple.
In addition, the children sooner or later grow up and leave the nest of the parents. And only depends on you, what you will: a very dear person with whom you share a common history, or a broken marriage.
No one is perfect and we all make mistakes. In any relationship, the partners can be misinterpreted and hurt each other. If the spouses do not know how to forgive, with time the relationship will collapse under the burden of the grievances accumulated.
6. Don’t try to change your partner
It is a common mistake to think that you can change your spouse. Everyone has their flaws, and it is almost impossible to remodel to someone to correspond fully with your ideas about the ideal companion.
The things that don’t even have to try to change in your partner include bad habits, the religious beliefs, relationships with your parents, and hobbies. What is worth doing is to create a new set of habits and family traditions that are pleasing to both.
7. Forget the ultimatums, and never utter the word “divorce”
Avoid phrases such as: “if this continues, I’ll let you”, and never say the word “divorce”. If you’re going to pronounce it, then get ready to go to the civil registry and the separation of goods, do not do it if your going to get on his knees saying “I didn’t mean that.”
Such phrases uttered in the heat of the moment, are not forgotten even after the reconciliation, which increases the risk of separation.
8. Control your anger
Try saying to yourself “stop” each time you want to tell your loved one one word insulting. If you feel that you can’t control you, takes a breath. Simply, don’t use it as a manipulation, punishing your partner with the insulation. Tell her that you will return to the conversation when you calm down and, of course, fulfill your word.
9. Never say bad things about your partner
Never say bad things about your partner to others. You already know, or your mom, or your friends. Their fight will happen, they’ll forget everything and will forgive them, but the members of your close circle are going to remember forever. Your partner will continue to be bad in their eyes and will have negative feelings towards it.
If you’re ready to explode, before anything else, talk heart-to-heart with your spouse. If you have to share your problems with someone else, call your psychologist.
10. Learn the love language of your partner
Each one of us has a love language and yours is different to that of your partner. Maybe for him, a manifestation of affection is the praise and the words of support, or perhaps a mime or a care, support or material gifts. Whatever your language-loving, apréndelo and use it.
Illustrator Anna Syrovatkina for Great.guru
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