It would seem that a long time ago that we’ve all learned the rules that allow to build a harmonious relationship. But, even so, something always goes wrong. Mistakes are annoying and we take care of claiming those useless clichés from the melodramas. But wise people have learned things not to do in a relationship, and not to stumble twice with the same stone.
Great.guru has compiled 10 small mistakes that can end up in major problems for the lovers.
1. To spend every minute together
“You’re my better half” is a phrase from the movie that insinuates that only by finding the love you become full. And what such to be complete in yourself? To be so, not is you need to share every minute with the person you love. The psychologists claim that in approximately 30% of the cases, someone in the couple doesn’t have enough personal space.
Many times, couples separate because of a banal lack of privacy and the stress that goes with it. Experienced people know that to be together all the time is not a guarantee of a strong union, but rather a threat to it. No matter how close the relationship, the members of the couple need to have a place and a time to be alone with their thoughts, and take off your social masks.
2. Not to fight never
We all want to believe that if this person is the one intended for us, then there will be a fight and the relationship will become perfect by itself. And if you run into a conflict all the time, then, is not the destination? Wise people do not think so. Are willing to discuss to be afónicas.
Psychologists also urge you not to avoid the fights. Because the problems must be exposed, not silenced. After all, the contradictions do not appear because they do, but they serve as signs of the changes that you implement. A conflict resolved timely is a given step so that the relationship becomes more comfortable for both of you.
3. To believe in the promises
Psychologists have revealed an interesting pattern: a person in love with seldom fulfills the promises he has given to your partner. And this is not due to the lack of responsibility or negligence, but to the peculiarities of our perception.
First, at a time of high sentimental feeling we tend to promise to the person loved more than we can perform. In the second place, it is not so terrible to make a mistake against a close person, with whom you feel comfortable and which, in all probability, that you will forgive a careless child. This lesson was well understood by the seasoned people, and that is why they are attentive to their own promises and does not rush to believe everything that is promised.
4. Threaten them with a separation
Remember that the relationship may be terminated at any time, and thus pushing the person to change their behavior can be an effective method, but the effect does not last long. In the future, instead of an attitude that is more sensitive, these words may cause the companion fear, uncertainty, and, probably, an aggressive response.
According to the researchers, those who tend to manipulate with threats are the people who are not sure of themselves. For them it is easier to distance yourself from your partner to deepen the problems. A wise person will help with a positive approach on your partner. Discuss the problems not from the position “I I will reject if not better”, but from the stance of “let’s Try to fix this together”.
5. Criticize each other
You can have a bad mood, a hair cut ill-fated or your joke may not be funny, but your partner should support you and help to smooth out the bad times. In a harmonious relationship, the partner is your ally but not your enemy. According to the opinion of psychologists, the critical causes an early separation.
Wise people distinguish a critique of a mere expression of discontent. The critical questions the qualities of the person and belittles. If one has the need to criticize the other, it means that the one who criticizes may have an inferiority complex that tries to compensate itself at the expense of your partner.
6. Zeal without reason
The more jealous he put in, the more he loves, is a sentence in which experienced people do not believe. Psychologists also recommend not to dye it in shades romantic the excessive control and the distrust of the couple. The myth that a person truly in love will be jealous of each post that you crosses is far from the truth.
According to the observations of scientists, the people who review the accounts of your partner on the social networks regularly, are more and more reasons to be wary of her, aumenan your anxiety, wish to discover the betrayal and, eventually, fall into a vicious circle. People who are prone to be jealous for the things that are insignificant, generally are not sure of their importance for the couple, and many times from themselves. Restrict the freedom of another person is not an option. But what to do if the jealousy does not let you live peace?
- Not to look for excuses to catch the couple traicionándote. Leave your messages in peace and remove the needless control.
- Develop the self-confidence and strengthen the relationship in a constructive manner. If you do not doubt your importance to your partner, then there is no reason to be jealous.
- Tell a partner about the jealousy with greater frequency. It is important to speak with sincerity, but not to fall in anger or in the indictment. The conciliatory tone and quiet in which to speak on the issue also opens a way to resolve it.
7. Respond to an offense with another offense
If your partner has offended you, why not pay with the same currency? It is so easy to do justice by punishing the other for their bad conduct. Studies have shown that revenge can cause a brief feeling of euphoria, comparable to the effects of alcohol and nicotine, but in the long run leaves only negative emotions.
Wise people remind us what are the true consequences of revenge: forces you to play grievances and avoid conclusions that are constructive. Leads to alienation and mutual suspicion.
8. Guess the wishes of the other
People with no experience do something that no one has asked them to, then, wait for the gratitude that will never come. Spend all the time making favors to the couple, very soon begin to seem natural and will become an obligation.
If your feelings take you to please the other excessively, you risk to end up under the pressure of desires of your partner. Even if initially she wasn’t going to manipulate you, you will not have left another option. It is better to think in joint plans and in the fulfilment, not only of the wishes of the other, but also themselves.
9. Not to talk about past relationships
Unpleasant or not, you can not build a relationship with a clean slate, without knowing anything about the past of the other. Anyone who has been in more of a relationship, acts wisely when he tells his experience. Speaking of the former partners is necessary, experts say. This type of conversation is not necessary to return to the past, but to build a better future.
No need to give all the intimate details. It will be sufficient to discuss one’s own emotions and the resulting conclusions. Then it will be easier to avoid old mistakes with the current partner, and the sincerity and the willingness to share personal experiences will increase the level of confidence.
10. Abuse of the photos of the joint
The experience shows that the “selfies” frequently do not collaborate with the construction of a harmonious relationship. The photos at first sight harmless lovers happy can actually talk about that the couple is on the verge of splitting.
Psychologists have noticed that some couples are excessively addicted to “selfies” because it extracted emotions from the answers to them: opt for the “likes” and the comments of others, instead of to obtain them to your partner. In most of the cases they choose to maintain the illusion of an ideal relationship, and to avoid facing and resolving the real problems.
And what’s the rules to build a harmonious relationship, do you know? Share them in the comments.
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