Modern parents have to overcome the difficulties that our ancestors not even have been imagined: work, raise children, and devote themselves to self-development. Due to a hectic pace of life and the need to correspond to the highest standards, mothers and fathers overcome a multitude of fears. “What am I really a good parent?”, says the head of the family. Most parents doubt their experience and this is absolutely in vain.
Great.guru collected the deepest fears of parents. And all this in order to dispel them once and for all and prove that you are the mom or dad most great in this world.
Fear 1: “too much work”
What you think: according to a survey conducted by the company Huggies, wailing on a complete dedication to the work are very typical for the majority of mothers and fathers. Such emotions sooner or later develop into a sense of guilt.
What is, in fact: the modern life dictates its conditions. Mortgage, payment of invoices and the need to be successful do not leave in peace to the adults. However, it is not worth throwing the blame for the aspiration of having a good life. It is more effective to be left lamenting and start acting. Dedicated time to talk with your child in a sincere way, read a book before going to sleep and it is obligatory to ask him about his life.
Fear 2: “I don’t buy expensive toys”
What you think: parents often feel a sense of guilt for not being able to buy their children clothes is the most expensive or a lot of toys.
What is, in fact: according to research recent, those children who had many toys, they were not able to concentrate on one of them. Psychologists warn that the babies who will literally give away many toys, they lose the ability to play properly because their attention is dissipated. The love of the parents does not have to be expressed in material goods, it is more important to have an emotional connection with the child. But replace the obligations of parents for the gifts, it is a really bad idea.
Fear 3: “the child is out of control”
What you think: children often present parents with unpleasant surprises. A child’s tender and obedient, became a creature in a thorny and difficult, and the parents suddenly realized that their tricks of education do not work any more. Does this mean that you have not done something right?
What is, in fact: no. Possibly your child goes through a crisis of maturation. At such times, they not only change the children, but also parents, they have to deal with a behavior completely different for your child’s party. Psychologists advise that you do not react to the provocations of the young tyrant, and remember that these negative changes in behavior are fairly typical in the age of adolescence. Parents are not to blame personally for the negative behavior of your teen. It is a set of hormonal changes, influence of friends and the mass culture.
Fear 4: “I am a father too strict”
What you think: the parents of children who are not so obedient have a choice quite difficult: to punish or to have a chat sincere. The severity is given quite difficult, and causes remorse.
What is, in fact: all parents want the children to love and respect, so we often try not to be so strict. However, such a tactic leads to an opposite result, the child generally becomes a disobedient. Parents don’t have to be friendly with their children, their main role is education. And for this it is important not only to establish the precise limits of the behavior accessible, but also to follow them. What happens is that adults find it easier to say “yes” to “no” and close eyes to bad behavior of your child. The parents truly are good reliable but not authoritarian. It is advisable to aspire to such perfection.
Fear 5: “my child is not going to development courses”
What you think: the market of supplementary education for children is developing like never before. Dance classes, English, drawing, plastic arts, and even the mental arithmetic. The responsible parents find it difficult to make a choice, to concentrate in one direction, or trying to carry the child to the maximum.
What is, in fact: psychologists and pediatricians do not recommend charging the child with a further education. Classes that don’t bring pleasure not only harm health, but can also worsen the relationship with your son, because to him it appears that it evaluated only on the merits and do not want to certainly for what it is. For a harmonious development of a child, this need free time, the ability to play independently and develop their imagination.
Fear 6: “the house is dirty and no hot food”
What you think: the parents are too responsible to present unreasonable demands to everyone: the children, spouses, the order in house. In your perspective of the world, literally everything has to be perfect, including a home as if it were a copy of a magazine of interiors.
What is, in fact: the real life differs a lot from the perfection. At home with small children there is a disorder of permanent. The dishes, the scattered toys, the lack of hot food and the basket full of dirty clothes, which already for a couple of weeks waiting for the wash, such an image is known by many parents. You don’t have to feel a sense of guilt, because once in a while parents need a rest.
Fear 7: “I lost patience with my son”
What you think: good, you lost patience and you yelled at your son, and maybe he started crying because of you. Virtually all parents have that feeling of shame after his aggression, blame him not to be able to control and they are afraid that such actions prove to be harmful in the child’s mind.
What actually is: in fact, according to research, the yelling, and even spanking not only does not have an educational effect, but, on the contrary, they cause a worsening of the subsequent behavior of the child. However, all of the parents at different times feel negative emotions in the relationship with their children. In the first place, it is necessary to realize that often the negativity is caused by internal problems of an adult, and the child only becomes the catalyst.
Fear 8: “it is not interesting for you to play with the child”
What you think: all dads have to do with pleasure figures of sand, playing with cars and coffee tableware dolls. In any case, such a stereotype is very strong until today, it should be interesting to do it with the children.
What is, in fact: children older than three years must be taught to play independently or to have amusement in the company of children of their same age. Even infants are able to for a period of time to build a tower of cubes. It is necessary to ensure a safe space for the games: pick up all the sharp objects and make sure that your child does not get hurt.
Fear 9: “I will not be able to do”
What you think: older people, friends that already have children, and even the supermadres on Instagram require young parents to feel like a zero to the left.
What is, in fact: such feelings are known by many. The first months and even years of parenting are a true test for the self-esteem: parents learn from-scratch dressing, bathing and feeding a child. It doesn’t always happen in the perfect way. Psychologists recommend in the first place, listen to the needs of your child. When we know each other better, the insecurity disappears, as it is only a matter of time.
Fear 10: “I want to relax in solitude”
What you think: the rest without children is a real crime in a relationship with them. While the parents are with their friends, the child is crying at his grandmother’s house or with the babysitter.
What is, in fact: the care of children, maintaining order at home and to ensure a level of dignity in family life are complicated tasks which consume many forces. A break in daily life is necessary in order to avoid the burdens of emotional. Pairs simply need regular rest so that they can restore their strength and return to the fulfillment of its obligations with great enthusiasm.
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