When you have a meeting with the other people, are enough a few seconds to make essential conclusions of each other. We unconsciously send to the interlocutor signals, verbal and non-verbal, to notice them, he subconsciously determine what we are so sure of ourselves.
Great.guru met certain patterns of conduct by which the insecurities or low self-esteem are visible to the naked eye. For others you perceive as a person is sure of itself, as an equal and don’t torment her with contempt or pity, get rid immediately of these 6 habits.
1. Embarrassed by compliments and praise
When a person with a low self-esteem will make a compliment, this begins to speculate desperately, and not because I have a bad past, maybe, in reality they are making fun of him. But even if you have security that the compliment is sincere, instead of taking it in a peaceful way and to thank you for this, the person is justified in the following way: “Thank you, but surely you would have done better than me.” When people with low self-esteem, praise others, they can also be devalued covertly: “you look great that dress, not me I look so pretty”, “it Has been an incredible result, I would never have achieved.”
Those people who do not love themselves do not accept their own merits. If they climbed from position or gave them a bonus, consider that this was simply by chance, it turned out to be a good day. “But soon after, the luck can give back,” says a person is not sure of itself, “and everyone will know that my success was undeserved”. This is known as the syndrome of the impostor.
What should I do? Learn in a peaceful way and with merit to receive compliments and praise.
2. Agree immediately with your partner
When you ask a question or ask you something, do you give yourself the time to think carefully, or attempt to respond as quickly as possible so that you do not consider indifferent? People are not secure of themselves often are of agreement with your interlocutor and without reflections individuals respond “yes” to their requests. Even if later it turns out to be that they don’t want to fully accept their requests. But for such a person, it is more important to avoid the conflicts, being a good person in the eyes of others and therefore endures and is in agreement with the other person.
What should I do? Respond to questions and requests without haste and with caution. The lack of agitation and the vote amen to words outside will do exactly that your opinion is more important to others.
3. Intolerance to the silence
The silence, especially in companies with people little known, causes all to feel a little uncomfortable, but for people with a low self-esteem, this is something particularly unbearable. They try to fill the silence with something: hard to seek a topic to talk, remember jokes and, finally, a cough and sigh. But the silence may have been caused by anything: a break during a conversation, people still do not know well, do not have a good communication with another person—a person unsure of themselves will strive to “establish” the atmosphere. This encourages a feeling of great responsibility.
Another strategy to be in the company of unknown is to dive in his phone, browsing social networks, even knowing that no one has written anything. This allows you to hide without start a first interaction.
What should I do? Stop to take responsibility for the behavior and mood of others. Maybe you’re on the side of two people who do not support one another, and your attempt to get a conversation nice finish to aggravate the situation still further. To be among new people, learn to behave and talk in a relaxed way.
Another sign of insecurity is the compensation, the public manifestation of their arrogance, or over-compensation. A person by all methods will attempt to to underline his status or belonging to a certain group. The researchers of Great Britain and EE. UU. they discovered the following: the small airports seek to express their status using on your site, the word “international” much more often than most large airports in USA. UU. The same thing happens with universities: those little known that are not of the “Ivy League” (composed by 8 universities of higher education) often make mention of a new affiliation to the league, unlike the more prestigious: Harvard.
These studies enabled the researchers to reach the conclusion that the agents that are in the last rows of a group, often try to more strongly emphasize their belonging to this group that those figures that are key parts of it.
What should you do? Do not emphasis on the care of others for the prestige, the elitism of your job/education/car, among others. The people are really secure in themselves they don’t scream in every one of his steps made.
5. Body paralyzed
No matter how much we try to hide our insecurity, our body can delatarnos. In the first place, it is worth to monitor your posture. It is surprising, but scientists have found a relationship between posture and self-esteem. Throughout an experiment, a group of participants were asked to go to a job interview, sitting with your back straight and your head up high; the second group were allowed to sit comfortably, encorvándose or “extending” on the chair. After the interview, the first group said that they tested in a way that benefits your opportunities to get the job, and the second group had no such security. “Our position not only influences what others think about us, but also in how we think about ourselves”, says the director of research, Richard Petty.
Other signs that may indicate a lack of confidence in one’s self and excessive tension are the jaw rigid, biting the lips, face, shadowy, or an expression of concern on the face, the “closed” position, hands, or legs crossed.
What should I do? It is not necessary to take a position of “superhero” or pretend to be nice, but anyway, try to keep your back straight and head high. Here you can read a little more about the body language, this can probably help you feel more comfortable and sure of yourself.
6. Look empty
The visual contact is very important to establish trust between the partners. The empty view and continuous in the space immediately points to a liar or an insecure person, which is very confused and that makes you afraid to look into the eyes of another person. The sociologist Nora Murphy, during the investigations, found out that the people who look calmly into the eyes of your interlocutor are perceived as people who are open, confident and possess a high level of intellect.
What to do? Do not avoid the gazes “face to face”, even if you criticize or regañen. Looking down at it as if it will accept the justice of all the accusations, and wake up more discontent that person with you.
Illustrator Igor Polushin for Great.guru
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