All parents want the best for their children, but may not always convey your thoughts properly to the younger generation. But, some phrases are repeated so often by the parents that the children are taken for absolute truth.
In Great.guru decided to find out what phrases you should avoid in the conversation with your children so as not to create problems in their future relationships.
“You’re the best”
Behind these phrases usually hides the cult of the child. Of course, for the parents, your child is the best, she is the princess/prince and just the light of their lives, but if the child is taught constantly that it is the best and everything in the world is done for him, then, the confrontation with the reality will be very painful for the adolescent. In addition, given that a relationship involves flexibility and compromise, will be extremely difficult for a prince or princess to get along with another person.
“Mum/dad knows best”
Usually, this phrase conceals the desire to save the child from the disappointments and protect you from the wrong choice from the point of view of the parents. In addition, it is used talking about a child’s preferences are expressed by it to choose a hobby or a future profession, but also when it speaks of the second half of the son/daughter. Later, the children who have been taken seriously this “truth” lose their ability to be independent in adulthood and can barely find a partner and establish relationships.
“Let me do it”
This phrase is a close relative of the previous one. The parent, armed with life experience and good intentions, deprives the child of the opportunity to do something only: to prepare a sandwich, do the task or to resolve a conflict with a classmate. Such education fosters the arrogance, the insolence, and the low self-esteem destroying the child’s capacity to overcome independently in crisis situations and to cope with the problems that inevitably arise in a relationship.
“Can’t trust anyone”
Trust is a very delicate matter. Due to the innocence of youth, is often wasted on wrong people. Of course, it is necessary to explain the techniques of security to the child when it comes to strangers, and trust in people is included in this list, but it should not be forgotten that healthy relationships without trust are impossible. The child must learn not only to defend themselves, but also to trust in the family and in the people close to you, to feel empathy and compassion for them.
“All men/women want the same thing”
The depersonalising and dishonor to all the opposite sex at the same time, the non-resident parent (usually, having their own bitter experience) is to protect your child from disappointments loving. But it is impossible to protect against all errors; on the contrary, it is more likely that this policy will result in a fear of relationship with men or women and may complicate significantly the personal life of the adult.
“If it weren’t for you, you could…”
Sometimes, the parents begin to grieve what is not achieved due to the premature birth of the child, or simply for lack of motivation. Accuse the child of your fault is emotional abuse of a small person. The child will grow up with a large complex of guilt and low self-esteem, which in no way contributes to a healthy relationship in the future, and perhaps the guilt projected on your partner.
No matter how many secrets of ageing make, the main thing is, happy parents leave children happy. In your opinion, what is the most important to explain to the children?
Illustrator Natalia Breeva for Great.guru
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