Good relationships with people are important, because the social connections are a significant part of our lives. But it is not always the sympathy of others is worth the time dedicated to this. If you notice that you spend more in the affairs of other people than in yours, now is the time to stop and reflect.
Great.guru found when it is worth reviewing your priorities.
1. Do not know to say no
What happens: in the list of your pending matters, there are more tasks to other people that yours. Help, buy, request, advise, care for, give… Every little thing to occupy your time invaluable. If you are wondering what has made all this people for it and that requires a call to infinite, you probably won’t find the answer.
What to do: put your tasks in the first place. If you feel that you are a selfish or an ingrate, is more likely to be due to the manipulation of your emotions. Before reaching blindly for a hand, he thinks: maybe this person likes to be in trouble all the time.
2. You are looking for approval
What happens: you feel unsafe and try to get the approval of important people. The actions in response to which you receive the praise of the boss, your coworkers, your friends and relatives are “good”, but for which there is no such response are not valuable or “bad”.
What to do: decide that you are already good and don’t need to prove it. Instead of seeking approval, strive for your goals. Grow in the profession, taking care of your health, to love and be loved. Confidence will be your faithful assistant, and the need to be liked by others will disappear.
3. Suavizas things
What happens: not discussing, not fighting, not whine and do not defend your interests. It is easier to agree, to endure or remain silent, for one day to receive the acceptance of others. But this is an illusion. If you do not defend your stance, no one will know that you have it.
What to do: allow yourself to have your own opinion. You do not need to seek support in the person whose voice sounds stronger and more confident. By openly expressing your thoughts, show your individuality. The respect deserved is more honorable than a single smile.
4. You blame for the emotions of others
What happens: often you apologize if you were not able to fulfill the order of another person, not guessed their thoughts, expectations and feelings. Anger, resentment, sadness, discomfort: any manifestation of negative emotions in others frightens you and makes you feel bad.
What to do: take off this weight from their shoulders: the responsibility for the feelings, expectations and problems of others. When you feel guilty, think on what the other person did to solve their problem and why you have time to whine and suffer, if the dilemma is not yet resolved.
5. You don’t have limits
What happens: you’re available to do anything at all for almost twenty-four hours a day. If someone has an urgent issue, it is an excuse to give up all of your tasks, crossing half of the city and solve the problem of the other for free. You can postpone easily your affairs, but refuse to help another it is difficult.
What to do: determine what is the norm for you, and make getting this information to the other. Are you going for the weekend? Di that you can work on that project until Friday. You should not put excuses. You have to become a priority once and for all.
6. You do what you do not like
What happens: other people: parents, relatives, friends and acquaintances, tell you what you “should” do. As they rarely say no, your time is fragmented into many small parts and none of them belongs to you.
What to do: separate out your personal space: time to rest, time to work, to domestic work, to wander, to be happy, to travel. Assign a day when you only do what you want. Establishes an order of priorities, and think well before you accept the job or not of another person.
Are you able to defend your boundaries? How do other people to this?
Illustrator Oleg Guta for Great.guru
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