Feelings, many times, are complex, and that leads to relate to others in different ways. Sometimes, the couple relationship is based on love and respect, and at other times the obsession gets in the middle. How to differentiate between a loving relationship of an obsessive relationship?
In Great.guru, we tell you what are these fundamental differences.
1. Love healthy respects the space of the other
It is very common that many people feel jealousy. It is a feeling, and as such, is valid. The problem is when the jealousy affect the relationship. How does this affect? The jealous person tends to invade the personal space of your partner: check your phone, it prevents you from getting together with friends, not allowed to perform activities alone. These are characteristics of an obsessive love.
What is more healthy is that each member of the couple to have a life of their own, life outside of the couple, regardless of interests in common: to keep their friendships, attend courses, do activities that interest you.
2. Love healthy recognizes the other as an individual and not as an object
What does this mean? Basically, I love healthy does not keep the other person: one can be owner of an object, never a person. If both parties recognize that the other is a human being and treat it as such, never act as if they were owners. Therefore, a person never impose your desires to your partner: if you are not yet ready to have children, wait for them to both agree.
If one of the two treats the other as if the outside of your property (allowing or forbidding him to do certain things, wear certain clothes, etc), is an obsessive love.
3. Love healthy and not live as if it were a movie
The film taught us that relationships should be a certain way, but sometimes we do not take into account one detail: the film is fiction.
In reality, to pretend that absolutely everything is idyllic and romantic is to put the relationship on a pedestal, and is passed to require too much to the other party, and have impossible expectations to fulfill. Love healthy understand that there are good times and bad, and that not everything is based on the romanticism.
4. Love healthy does not influence the self-esteem
This, at first glance, it may seem confusing: of course when we are in a healthy relationship we feel good. But what this means is that if you feel good with yourself, with the image that we have of us, we need the validation of another, this is not a healthy relationship.
5. Love healthy accepts the duel
And what happens if the relationship ends? The logical step to follow, step healthy, even though it does not seem like it, is ok the duel: take the time to understand and accept emotionally that the relationship ended. Not to accept the duel, and quickly look for a replacement of the beloved is a symptom of an obsessive love.
6. Love healthy does emotional blackmail
We all know stories of people who threaten their ex-partners with harm if they do not return to be together, or even threaten to harm a third party. This is, clearly, a symptom of obsession. Love healthy is unable to threaten and abuse the other party.
7. Love healthy facing the issues
In all human relationship problems arise. Those who maintain a healthy relationship, take care of the problems and try to solve them. In contrast, those who have an obsessive relationship, they pretend that problems do not exist or clogged with other matters. Why is this happening? Because they are afraid that the problem, if facing, is impossible to fix. But cover one problem only brings more problems, and it becomes a vicious circle.
What do you think? Do you recognize any of these points? How is your relationship? We would like you to tell us in our comments section.
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