Arthur Schopenhauer said that the fearful, give birth to the cowards, the crooks and the scoundrels, and the losers are just born losers. But Immanuel Kant believed that the character is not inherited, but is formed under the influence of internal experiences and external circumstances, and it is possible and necessary to work to improve it.
But there is another theory: a person has nothing to do with what happens in your life, and all their failures are due to the intrigues of the enemies and the influence of the stars. Generally, this theory is defended by complete losers.
Great.guru met 10 principles that always remain the people “unfortunate”. We believe that it is precisely this approach that turns your life into a constant series of setbacks, and that the stars and enemies don’t have anything to do: as you know, the glass has water up to the half, and it depends on us if it is half-empty or half-full.
1. Blaming others for their problems
Do not come to college? It is because they only enter those who have contacts or pay bribes. I have not received a bonus at work? It is because the idiot boss only gives it to his relatives and sycophants. Do you let your girlfriend? It is because it is a silly (if it was a man, “is an idiot”). Have you finished the bread, and in the store there is also no? Here is a clear proof of the universal conspiracy!
- The search for the guilty, and the fact of accusing them give the person a false impression that the problem has already been solved. But the problem is still there, and soon will re-appear. That’s why, when successful people are faced with a complication, instead of looking guilty, they seek the ways and the tools to solve it.
2. Compared with other people
The losers like to compare yourself with others. Regardless of if you choose a person more or less successful than them to make the comparison, the result will not be good. In the first case, they will feel shame of themselves, and is one of the destructive feelings that most hinder the development staff. In the second case, the loser will have the opportunity to justify their lack of action.
- At the same time, the comparisons allow us to evaluate our personal growth. But with whom is that to be compared is not with others but with oneself, with the person that you were 10, 5 or 1 year before.
3. Rely not on himself
Look for an extra income, learn a new language, take a risk and make a compliment to a stranger, are things that require effort. It is much easier to find an excuse and, in good conscience, abandon any attempt to make a change in your life.
- Recognize the existence of certain difficulties will do no harm, allows the person to assess the situation objectively and to plan your actions. It is important to understand that any obstacle, either an economic crisis or Venus in house 7, only will complicate a little the road to success, and that will block it completely.
4. Abandoning their objectives and principles
People who all the time complain about their bad luck will change their beliefs and goals several times a day, or directly abandon them at the slightest difficulty. A loser today can be a vegetarian convinced, and tomorrow will condemn those who don’t eat meat because they do not consume enough vitamin B12.
- A goal is a beacon that shows us the way even in complete darkness, and the principles are the fences that do not allow us to deviate us from the right path. Not for nothing, Roy Disney said: “When your values are clear to you, making decisions becomes easier”. When difficulties arise, instead of changing their points of view, successful people are looking for ways to fix things.
5. Not knowing how to communicate with other people
The losers do not know how to build relationships with others, and many times is handled with arrogance with those who, in your opinion, are from a social stratum lower. Not for nothing it is said that if you want to see the true face of a person you must observe how he treats the service staff.
- Those who took the responsibility of their lives know that it is important to relate with other people not only in the professional field, but also in their private lives. Do not lose the opportunity to expand your circle of acquaintances and strive to maintain these relationships.
The losers live as if they had more of a life. Today, the popular term “procrastination” extends not only to routine matters such as cleaning or washing dishes. Losers postpone for later the realization of their desires, turning his life into an existence little happy and, many times, quite boring.
- Successful people live in the here and now. Steve Jobs used to ask himself in the morning: “What would you do today if this were my last day?” It is a great way to stop procrastinating the important things and start living in the present moment.
7. Not accepting other points of view
The losers are superficially versed in almost everything. Ask any loser how to put things in order in the country, and you will receive an instruction thorough, perhaps even with illustrations. Sure you have reason, the loser will discuss up, as they say, turning blue. At the same time, in your department, the disaster surely begins from the threshold.
- A long time ago that in psychology is known a effect very interesting that is called the syndrome of Dunning-Kruger: the less a person knows, the stronger is their conviction of being right, and with much more fervor rejects other points of view. The effect also works in the opposite direction: the higher the competence of a person, much less discuss for you to demonstrate that you are correct.
8. Love the promotions
“The cheaper, the better”, this is the motto of many losers. And it doesn’t matter if the socks that were bought with discount embroider the next day, if there are bugs in the cereal boxes that were purchased months ago or if the vegetables purchased in bags of several pounds begins to have outbreaks. And so from year to year.
- Successful people do not save, but that you know how to count their money and know the true price of things. This allows them to buy products that are truly necessary and of high quality that will have to throw away the next day. For something the sentence of the Baron Rothschild “I am Not so rich to buy cheap stuff” is so popular until today.
9. Envy and slandering others
The losers are envious, and to justify their feelings of disgust by trying to find the “true” reason for the success of other people. What is rico? That sure is a scammer. What is popular? Knows how to weave intrigue. What is healthy? Long time no go to the doctor. Are you happily married? Know erase the traces of their amorous adventures. Do you smile a lot? O fool, open your eyes! For a loser, nothing good can happen in life just because yes.
- According to psychologists, the envy is born of the inability of people to enjoy their own life. Many times, the envious person not even want to have what they envy, they just can’t overcome the ability of others to receive from life what they want.
It is difficult to argue against the fact that the majority of the failures in the life of a person are a result of the acts committed according to their habits and their character. But, what or who is to blame for a person who has that character and not another? Does the point of view of who is closest, of Schopenhauer or Kant? What if someone is a complete loser, you think that is it for always or can do something to change?
Illustrator Sergey Raskovalov for Great.guru
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