To feel fear or shame is common and, although it may not seem so, it is also healthy. It is something that everyone suffers at some point because the situation is so demanding or because, simply, it is a shy, afraid to express an opinion in public, to be ridiculed… to Recognize that fear is the first and fundamental step in order to transform us.
But, if these feelings make you fall into a “vicious circle” or consume too much time and energy in your life, maybe it’s time to take a step forward and take control of those emotions. Deal with it and accept it is essential for you to stop harm.
We need the negative emotions
Don’t you have no fear of those feelings. In the end, it is emotions that allow us to survive in situations of risk since time immemorial. In other words: we need to live, to be full human beings.
If, however, the anxiety, the fear and worry prevent you to develop your skills and take advantage of the opportunities that you provide, you have to put an end to this social insecurity. Some of these symptoms can put you on guard:
- Suffer dizziness, tachycardia, excessive sweating, nausea, or extreme nerves react to certain situations, such as speaking in public, feel the center of attention, or to certain thoughts.
- To experience concern or feel restless almost every day.
- Having negative thoughts anticipatory with frequency.
- You get tired easily.
- Have difficulty concentrating.
An opportunity to transform
The next step is to be very aware that your phobia is not a disadvantage, but an opportunity to transform, to improve, to be more wise and to love more. You need to experience a range of emotions to appreciate life in all its dimensions. And sometimes, life gives you a lime and another of sand.
You can convert your fears into an opportunity to make more of everything that you like at the time that you take to try new activities and ways of approaching life. What you can channel through exercises in emotional expression or to expose yourself with moderation to your fears atreviéndote to do different things. You can join new activities: sports, theatre…
The reorganization is vital that requires fighting against the social fear is the perfect opportunity to acquire new tools, open new doors and develop emotional traits new that surely will bring many side effects… but more positive.
See what positive there is in the fear
There are several tools that can help you cope with the fear. For a start, the self-help books can be a good complement to begin the work, as well as the disciplines of relaxation and physical exercise. These are ideas and resources that are there to help you at any time.
Regarding books, there are many and good ones, for example the practical Handbook for the treatment of shyness and social anxiety, Martin M. Antony and Richard P. Swinson, published by Desclée De Brouwer. It is a book as fun as it is practical, offering a perfect scientific description, and a program to overcome anxiety.
If you want to leave the theory and go to practice, focus on the present moment is fundamental. But if you need more, there are also techniques to curb anxiety:
- Develop check-lists to help you to rationalise your fears.
- Practice deep breathing: although it requires some technique, it is something that you can do virtually anywhere. Remember to practice breathing belly, not through your chest, and do it slowly and deeply. Do not have to rush on exhale and do it at least five times in a row, either in a reserved space in the soil, in your home, or also in any place in a more subtle way, for example, while you work in your office.
- Lean on family and good friends to get out of the negative thoughts: are the right people to express your opinions, concerns, and emotions; everything that’s supposed to express with strangers or environments outside. The worst thing that can happen is that you strenghthen your ties with them.
- But perhaps what is essential is to change the point of view: acknowledging and accepting our own fears, to realize that they are part of you, be aware that not all moments in life have to be comfortable and pleasant, and consider the difficulties as a challenge.
The combination of these factors is the best weapon to avoid the negative feelings take control of your life and be more aware of how far you can reach. What are you waiting to test?