Few people know how to decipher the warning signs better than the divorce lawyers, or psychologists of the family. With your experience, you can understand at first sight what character trait of your partner will continue to be negligible and which will become a major problem and could lead to separation in the future. Step, can be excellent counselors in all that pertains to the dating.
Great.guru he studied the advice of specialists on the first appointment and chose 10 questions whose answers could help you to better understand the other person.
1. Are you married/married?
Someone may find this question a bit strange, other people, they just give you grief ask for it. However, it is a very important moment that needs to be clarified in an open way. Randall Kessler, a divorce lawyer, explains that “we are about to get a divorce”, “it’s complicated” or “we are separated” is not the same as “I am free”. You have to make sure that the person that you think you have something serious ready for a long-lasting relationship with you.
2. Do you make the bed in the morning?
The family psychologist Daniella Kepler ensures that the answer to this question shows very well what is most important to the person: the order and cleanliness or the time. If you prefer the quiet or are rushing to live. In addition, you could develop the theme and to discover if the person tends to get up early or sleep in late and how she spends her mornings.
3. Do you ever read reviews or trust your intuition?
This question will allow you to understand what they have in common and how they differ with your partner, to be more clear, if he or she is in the group of people with sensory or intuitive. There are people who, without reading the reviews, don’t buy or a toothbrush and there are others who always go on vacation, make your reservations without a look or a comment from the guests. If you and your partner belong to different groups and do not understand the behavior of the other and even irritated, it is a good reason to think if you might be well in the future.
4. What is it that most irritates you in people?
It is obvious that, when we meet someone new, we show only our best qualities at the start. But every person has the traits of his character behind the facade, which might cause irreconcilable conflicts in the future. Ryan Howes, a psychologist from California, says: “If your partner hates mess and you’re scruffy, you are likely to have problems in the future.” And this applies to other aspects also, for example, you like to be in silence and your partner prefers to a few wild parties. It is best that we clarify with time.
5. How often do you relate with your parents and other family members?
Many times, the frequency with which you interact with your family and the degree of your dependence of them play a very important role in a loving relationship. The divorce lawyer Carla Donelli confirms that, very often, divorces happen because, already being married, one of the spouses continues to put the needs and interests of their family over those of your partner. At the same time, a very bad relationship with the family may indicate a psyche unstable, inability to maintain a long relationship and to seek commitments.
6. What do you think about abortion?
Yes, your eyes do not deceive you. In reality, you can ask any burning question. Professor of psychology Dan Arieli told of an experiment in which a group of people that met online allowed them to make only the questions “hot” that had nothing to do with the weather or work and other trivial things. In the end, this helped people to feel more calm, they were able to share their hidden thoughts, and feel a variety of emotions, which made the communication more vivid. At the same time, in these circumstances, the people can demonstrate that they are excellent and sensitive listeners.
7. Tell me about your worst date
You can do this question if you think that the appointment is having success. The psychologist Spencer Scott explains the following: first, this question will help you understand if your partner feels confident and is now ready to tell something personal. And, second, you’ll be able to make sure that this appointment is totally different from what another person considers to be a failure.
8. How ended your last relationship?
Carla Donelli recommend to ask why you divorced or ended their previous relationship. This will allow you to see if the person knows how to analyze the situation, make correct conclusions, or if you can only blame others without acknowledging their own mistakes. That is to say, if you are developing on a personal level.
9. You won $ 20 million dollars. What will you do?
The family psychologist Jennie Ingram believes that this question can help to understand the system of personal values of each one. Understand if it is a self-centered, or is a generous person and affectionate. Also, how mature is he or she in financial matters and if they can have a common budget and save for important things, such as, for example, a home or a car.
10. What do you want people to remember you when you jubiles?
This question will make them dream a lot. However, so you’ll be able to understand what are the priorities in the life of your partner. When someone tells you what it currently does, (“I’m graduating from the university” or “work of a secretary in an office”) this does not show you what he is thinking or what dreams. The psychologist family of Denver Aaron Anderson says that this question allows you to go very well in the deepest thoughts of the person without creating the impression of an interrogation.
What other questions do you think are important to be able to get to know a person?
Illustrator Daniil Shubin for Great.guru
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