From 10 years ago, I watch parents take on too many responsibilities that should belong to the children. What is fashion? Do the homework with the children almost up to the high school, to fill the backpack of books for them, ask the task to their classmates, bring them to the study groups, and occupy all of your time in the recreational groups during the entire week so that they have no time to enjoy his childhood. Parents make many decisions and choices for their children. And under a pretext-misleading, they try to control all of its affairs.
The experienced psychologist Oksana Kalaganova wrote an article for the readers of Great.guru and wants to explain why at certain occasions we would like to tell some parents the following: let in peace to their children and tend to your own life.
Recently I gave a class to the parents of some students and I discovered that many parents investigate with the teacher the tasks of their children (even high school students!). At the same time complain about the lack of autonomy of them.
I don’t remember that in childhood our parents we did the backpack, ask about the homework or take us to study groups. We had the freedom to choose our hobbies because they were busy with their affairs. So we learned to be independent.
The society has become “decentralized”. The whole family is created around the hobbies of the children. A child is the sense of life and a light in the window. The parents become a team of parenting for their children or a personal service for them. At the same time cease to be spouses to each other. And what is more important is that the parents believe that as well make more happy to your children, ensuring them a better childhood.
We see these families make me want to tell them: leave them in peace to their children, because they are ruined the life!
Many parents explain such behavior with the desire for their children to grow up successful, rich and have the opportunity to make a good choice in your life. All of this for their children to grow up happy. Since the parents are not, desesperandamente want their offspring to know happiness.
But it also needs to learn the art of feeling happy. And children always learn from their parents. Precisely, they inherit all the stereotypes of the behavior and attitude towards life. What can you teach these parents to their children? Teach them to work hard and work hard, you will learn to feel the anxiety and mistrust of the world, but will not learn to be happy and satisfied. Because nobody can teach if the parents themselves are not happy!
There is No point in educating your children: all modes will seem to you. Educate yourself.
If you do not want your children to have a life like yours, start with yourself and your life. “Become” a happy person, then your children will also be happy. Do not need millions of groups of studies. If instead of blaming the government, your boss or your partner start to make you responsible for your life, your children will also learn to take responsibility for their homework, backpacks and others. Oh and just so all will be well with the children!
There is also another hidden motive, and is based on the fact that parents try to give their children what they never had in their childhood. Often this desire is an unconscious attempt to compensate for the défecit in his own childhood. Some parents forget to ask their children what they want. The movie “Interstate 60” is about precisely this, candle. There is shown very well to where I can take this.
Or, the other way around, don’t forget to ask them about their wishes and after you fanatically want to meet them all. As if the parents have only a meaning in this life: to please his son, and had no interests of their own.
We cannot live our lives for our children and we can not take care of mistakes. Their errors have to commit themselves. And if we try to protect them too much, deprive ourselves of the chance to win your own experience, do not give them chance to mature and realize their own potential. The become child without initiative, who do not know what they want, not have their own opinion or positions in life.
I repeat: parents, if you want to raise happy children and successful, let them go and tend to your own life!
Looking to your own interests and senses. Looking for something that will make you more happy, because the children need to have happy parents. First of all, live for yourself and only then for your children.
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