For a long time, the ira was considered unworthy of a decent society, and several generations of our predecessors grew up in conditions of constant suppression of this feeling. But even now, when the psychology has rehabilitated the manifestation of the negative emotions, the anger often arouses the disapproval of others and a sense of guilt in your “owner.” What we should be ashamed of your anger and it will be possible to get rid of it?
Great.guru proposes you to do a express test which consists of a single question. Answer the question, you’ll be able to understand what type of anger is more characteristic for you, and we will tell you how to handle it.
Then, imagine to the smallest detail in the following situation:
You work on a project with another employee. And the partner who touched you is not exactly the most effort: you must make the most of the work while she talks on the phone, drinks coffee and pretends to be a stuffy job in all possible ways. And at this time, one more time, while you have lots of documents urgent on your desk, and your brain is already boiling by the excess of tension, this “worker” takes more than an hour complained of a headache unbearable. And you feel how, with every minute that passes, the resentment grows in your soul…
Feel your anger, realize who or what it is aimed at. Di mentally all the words that I would come to the mind in such a situation. What the pronunciarías? And if so, with what intonation? Does your anger aminoraría immediately after they are pronounced, or very well go back mentally to the conflict for a long time more?
And now that you’ve already imagined your anger in detail, compare it with the choices of reaction are described below and choose one that is as close to possible of what you just experience.
1. Passive wrath
2. Explosive anger
3. Anger chronic
4. Anger vindictive
5. Wrath frozen
6. Anger situational
7. Anger empathic
Then, your choice…
1. Passive wrath. If this is your reaction, then you’re used to keeping your negative emotions in yourself, allowing them to manifest themselves only in allegorical manner, in the form of snide remarks or phrases passive-aggressive. This kind of anger is dangerous mainly for you, because a constant internal stress may lead to various dysfunctions in the body, primarily of systems cardiovascular and digestive.
The representatives of this group need to learn ways healthy to express your emotions: talk frankly with friends, do physical exercises (the best are contact and team sports). It will be good to all that will help you to reduce the stress and tension general.
2. Explosive anger. What your mood is like a swing, the same event can leave you indifferent, or lead to a burst of anger rampant? We’re not talking about an emergency situation, that in everyday life we call: “avalanche of problems”, but a habitual reaction. It means that you have a psyche unstable, prone to disorders are cyclical. If you take drugs, psychostimulants, the reason may be in them.
As it was, the explosive anger in yourself or in your loved ones is a serious reason for recourse to a psychotherapist. It is possible to learn how to handle outbursts of wrath, just as the attacks of apathy. For your own peace and security.
3. Anger chronic. If you’ve stopped in this option of the reaction, it can be assumed that the employee negligent is not the only thing that irritates you in your everyday life. Loud neighbors, relatives, cheeky, spoilt children, things that break at the worst possible time: the list can go on forever.
When the feeling of anger becomes habitual, its intensity disappears. You identify it as an emotion of anger, the flames irritability, which can be attributed to fatigue and the stupidity of others. But you cannot cheat the body: chronic anger depletes the immune system, causing hypertension.
Chronic anger can drive you to work in therapeutic groups, as well as performing all the practices that involve in any way the meditation: yoga, tantra, tai chi, etc
4. Wrath vindictive. Do you get angry and forget? No, that is not for you: “your anger wants revenge! You may be out of you crazy must be punished, one way or the other. And until that happens, you have to live to the expectation of this punishment, through the mind to the different possible scenarios of its execution.
The satisfaction caused by the vengeance generates a release of dopamine, the hormone of pleasure, whose action they mimic the narcotic substances. The mechanism of addiction is similar in both cases: each time requires a “dose” more often. And the expectation for infinite adjustment of accounts with the offender that makes him the “owner” of this type of anger, a level of extreme stress.
The best way to cure the wrath vengeful is the forgiveness. Learn to forgive the people who offended. And for sintonizarte with the wave right, looking for an occupation whose goal is to help other people: volunteering, tutoring, teaching, etc
5. Wrath frozen. If you tend to remember an offense for a long time and you think you can’t forgive someone until you have realized your mistake and not apologized for it, it is about the situation that psychologists call “being stuck” in the anger. The constant feeling of resentment and bitterness affects the general mood, and can cause complications of the cardiovascular system, and even affect your face, making it a “mask of anger”.
Buddha said that staying angry is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die. Instead of accumulating anger and resentment for years, you can simply let them go and move on with your life. Even if you no longer you communicate with someone with whom you are still angry, psychoanalysis will help you to solve this situation and stop feeling anger.
6. Anger for the situation. You are angry, you have reacted, you’ve calmed down and have you forgotten, what about you? In this case, congratulations: you have a healthy reaction, which does not require intervention and correction special. Yes, of course that anger is not the emotion all the more enjoyable. But when expressed correctly, can become a powerful driving force both in relationships, as in the development of a variety of situations.
Speaking of this correct expression of emotions, it is important to remember that, no matter how angry you are, you must not allow yourself to insult and offend, because otherwise the constructive dialogue quickly becomes a banal dispute. Uses the “Message-I” and talks about the actions of the interlocutor, and not on him.
7. Anger empathic. If in the situation that we don’t upset your colleague, but the circumstances have been made to suffer, also it is a healthy reaction of an ira “empathic”. What is more likely is that your ability to feel empathy to protect you from the negative consequences for the body related with the ira.
The only thing that you should remember is that, many times, people confuse kindness with stupidity and try to take advantage of it. Do not forget your own interests and learn to listen to your feelings. If you feel that the joy of helping others has declined, then probably the person is abusing your kindness. In this case, distráete to give joy to yourself, and not to the others.
Of course, no pop quiz will replace a study of personality in full, or work with a specialist, you only propose to you to listen to your emotions and understand something new about yourself. We would love to read in the comments if this test you liked. Or perhaps you have your own proven ways to control anger on the ones you want to tell us?
Illustrator Natalia Breeva for Great.guru
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