It seems like yesterday when your son stayed in your lap and now he refuses to give you a hand in the street, asks you to get out of your room and is shown angry about anything. And what upsets you the most: is ashamed of you.
Great.guru has sought to understand these nuances of child behavior and found 10 mistakes that parents make in their relationship with them. If we avoid them, our children will be proud of us.
1. To interfere in the child’s life
Be displayed from the child’s side, in front of his teacher or with the “bully” of the school, it is a natural desire of the parents. However, it can also lead the child to feel like an invasion in your private life and even a lack of respect, because we never would have rushed to defend as an adult. So before come to their aid, ask the child if you really need it. Otherwise, you will go through a very embarrassing.
2. Overprotection intrusive
There is nothing wrong in carrying it out or fasten the jacket to a small of 5 years, but children older than 10, that may seem like a terrible disgrace. Not only because they aspire to be self-sufficient. Simply because of your treatment, as if they were babies, can be the object of ridicule in the school. If you want your child to feel comfortable, hold your impulses in public and show your affection in the house.
3. Reproaches the child in public
In the presence of other people, should not be displayed, not only a care in excess, but also your dissatisfaction with the behavior of the child. If you want to show your discomfort, better wait until you get home. After all, for the children, scolding in public mean that you do not treat them with the seriousness characteristic of the adults. And it is true. You think if you say something like that to someone of your age and, in addition, in public. But more importantly, to do these things causes the child to feel ashamed of it.
4. Large amount of bans
The children are constantly begging for themselves, so it is key that you are experiencing. Adds to the “black list” on the experiments more dangerous, but the rest mándalos to the “grey zone”. Don’t hide that you do not approve of these things, but neither does it impose a veto. In the end, it is embarrassing to explain to your friends the real reason of your bans.
5. Attempts to become more like the teens
A woman worthy for the view, but with a miniskirt and a lipstick pink candy, or a serious man with a baseball cap, inserting their “I” after each word, is something absurd, even from the point of view of the adults. While for our kids, these attempts seem to be more young appear to a mortal sin, that deserves the worst punishment: ridicule. Surely you do not wish for your child a target, so you do honor to your social status, being yourself in any situation and company.
6. Lack of desire to understand the interests of the child
Before you respond with hostility about the hobbies of your child, it is better to stop studying this topic together. Even though all of your being resists to see the videos and memes modern, if you do not, you will just run out of topics to talk about with him. However, in order to carry out these conversations, better alone, so do not feel embarrassed in front of their peers by your mistakes or ignorance of their culture and hobbies.
7. I like it, and comments on their social networks
It is best not to show excessive activity in the pages of your child’s social networks. If you don’t like your spelling mistakes in your posts or your opinion on the opposite sex, talk about it with him, face-to-face. Otherwise, it is more uncomfortable if your friends see your comments.
8. Hundreds of family stories
What is particularly annoying for the children is that we constantly are telling stories about mistakes you have made in the childhood. The first love when I was 3 years old, its attempts to abandon the spoon to eat with the hands and things like that, these are all stories that need to be in the bosom of the family and not counted to the four winds. If you are in doubt whether it is worth to tell you something, it is best to put yourself in the place of your child: how would you feel about you?
9. Stories about the sex life
The parents, for a child, perhaps they are the only people whose sexual life, it is impossible to imagine. Even understanding how exactly they were born, the children do not want to know more details and you have to keep it well in mind. Waiver of the innuendo and jokes “below the belt” and allow the child decide for himself when to start a conversation about sex. Otherwise, the feeling of discomfort can become unbearable.
10. Not comply with the image of ideal parents that the child has
Each child has their own idea of their mom and dad perfect, but what is important is that the parents in these situations to accept the fact that they do not meet the imagined ideal. There’s that “conform” to the expectations of the child, otherwise, you will stop being yourself and handling it will wave in the air. It is best to talk to him like you would with an adult: ask, what, exactly, is not satisfied and explain that you’re not willing to change all of your list on you. Oh, and there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of!
Illustrator Leonid Khan for Great.guru
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