The expressions of love and manipulation are so similar that it is difficult to understand with what we’re dealing with. If you also take into account that many see everything in pink, you will understand that it is very difficult for them to understand what is happening with the relationship.
The wording of Great.guru invites us to be suspicious of some gestures of love and see if there is in them signs of tampering. Just made a list of cases in which the manipulators are manifested with greater frequency.
1. Track your location
Showing concerned for your safety, your partner offers to install a monitoring service for location of the user provided by the mobile phone carrier. And since you’ve become a habit to check-in when visiting any public place. Ask yourself a question: is there really such a criminal situation in the city as for a person to not be able to go to a bakery without the control of your loved one? If not, then there are signs of distrust. Your partner wants to be aware of each step you take because it does not trust you and tries to control your movements.
2. Justify the rudeness with love
Love should enhance a person. If it becomes unbearable, aggressive, and dangerous, is not love. It is an attempt to roughly handle the couple, which is justified by a passion fiery. Especially often appear jealous. Can lose the control if you have changed your plans, have a co-worker is new and beautiful, or a passer-by cute smiles at you. You can’t guess on what to end up this jealousy and at what point in time you will see.
3. He can’t live without you, literally
When all interests are focused on the partner and he becomes the only meaning of life, not only bothers and scares, but also is a clear signal that he is a manipulator and a blackmailer. Sometimes, this behavior is complemented by the expulsion of old friends of the circle of communication. Respect is the basis of normal relations. Including the respect for the personal space of the other.
4. You redo to your taste
The most pleasant thing in the gift is when your partner takes into account your hobbies to pick up an article that you like and spend in him not only money, but also your time. But the gift is not always just a nice gesture of attention. If you give away a lot of things you don’t need, then there may be two reasons for this. First: you want to compel to give a gesture of care reciprocal. Second: your partner will change to your liking, choosing what he considers right for you. For example, clothing.
5. Try to limit your life to a family
This may seem like a madness, but a thing as natural as wanting to raise children with a loved one can become a platform for manipulation. The fact is that the plans for a future life of the two spouses can not match. It is not necessary to tie one to the other using the children, if for one it is more important to your career and to the other family. If one does not change their desire to have children, the other probably also not going to give up his career. Will this be the reason why there are so many single mothers? Perhaps they are all victims of the plans for the future of the couples were not similar?
6. Often used comparisons desfavorecedoras
Flattery is the most effective weapon in the struggle for the liking. But when it comes to comparisons desfavorecedoras, there can be no doubt: your partner is pursuing a goal that only he knows. If you learn to notice the limit after which a compliment becomes hypocrisy, you can avoid many unpleasant consequences of the communications manipulators.
Although they relate to two adults with personalities already formed a long time ago, some behave as if they are raising a child of 5 years, whose role is interpreted by your partner. Education use a system of rewards and punishments. Also use teasing, jokes, villains, and the surprise sincere as a response to a complaint. The purpose of this behavior is to make you doubt your own abilities and skills.
8. You feel guilty after the fight started he same
There are No relationships without fights. They say that the first one who apologizes is the one who most valued the relationship. But you can apologize in different ways. The manipulators like to present your apology in such a way that you feel guilty. You’re not going to have the stomach to discuss what happened, because you’re not going to want to look like someone who makes drama for any subject. And as a result, everything will be repeated again and again.
Illustrator Igor Polushin for Great.guru
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