All of us often want to give, not just a good first impression, but an excellent one. And we know that for this we need to behave comfortably, call the interlocutor by name and avoid the closed positions.
But sometimes this is not enough. Your behavior is natural, do not cross the hands, but doña Maria still considers you good for your child. So, what more do you need?
Great.guru has collected 10 recommendations of psychologists that will help you to fascinate your partners. And for difficult cases, we have prepared a bonus. A method that always works.
1. Effect Pygmalion
According to the famous psychologist Robert Rosenthal, the Pygmalion effect refers to the phenomenon in which a person is certain of something, and acts to find a confirmation of this.
If we are certain in advance that dona Maria is a woman very nice and we will not be able to fascinarla, we will act unconsciously to confirm this. Therefore, it is better to think that the person to whom you are about to meet will be delighted to meet you.
And one more thing. On the basis of this effect, we conducted an experiment during which it was demonstrated that if a person thinks that you really like, it starts behaving more open and friendly. Then, if there is a possibility, ask that someone to tell him prior to their meeting at dona Maria that you goes down well.
2. Effect Pratfall
Often, in the company of unknown people, we try to show our best face. We care, we try to hide it, we care even more and as a result we hide in a corner, thinking of being soon in bed. Here the psychologists recommend you take note of the effect Pratfall, according to which the best way to gain the liking of others is to demonstrate vulnerability, weakness, small oversight.
In this context, we could not help but be reminded of the talented Jennifer Lawrence, who fell for three consecutive years before the view of almost all over the world, but his popularity has not suffered for this, but quite the opposite. Although, of course, the talent of the actress played a decisive role.
3. Effect of the attraction of similarities
This concept belongs to the psychologist Theodore Newcomb, who established in his research that the more attitudes and habits of common people have, the more they want each other. It is interesting the great sympathy which cause us to partners with whom we have similar negative characteristics. Just need to find these points of contact, although it is quite difficult because few people during the first meeting begin to talk about themselves, especially about their imperfections.
4. Points of contact
Vanessa van Edwards, author of the book “Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People“, he compares our thoughts with tangles and the general topics of conversation with threads of connection. She believes that there are three main categories of topics to communicate with unknown people. To start a conversation, we need a phrase that gives the foot and the ”thread of connection“. We tell you what it is.
Imagine that you came to the birthday of dona Maria.
- The category “People”: friends in common, that is to say, his son Paul, for example. Opening sentence: ”Paul has a great ear for music“. The thread: ”And what talents do you have?“
- The category “Context”: the event that linked to you, that is to say, the birthday. Opening sentence: “that’s a Great restaurant!“ The thread: ”Who advised him?”
- The category “Interest”: in fact, they are interest. Opening sentence: ”I Saw her pictures in Greece.“ The thread: ”What you like from there?“
Pay attention to the threads (questions). If you want to talk to the interlocutor, should not be closed, that is to say, that cannot be answered using “yes” or ”no”.
5. Talk about yourself
Five different studies have confirmed that people like to talk about themselves (not so much on the skeletons in the closet, but about the personal experience). In those moments it activates the area of the brain that scientists call the pleasure center (responsible for the sensation of pleasure). In addition, in an experiment, the participants rejected the monetary compensation in favor of the opportunity to talk about themselves.
In consequence, once it establishes contact, it is important to help the interlocutor to share their ideas or opinions, making leading questions and showing interest in what he says.
6. The script for a conversation is ideal
The specialists in the field of networking (establishment of useful contacts) offer the following scenario of a dialogue with the person that you want to enjoy:
- “You.“ After the handshake and the presentation would be relevant to a general question that you will ask the opinion of the interlocutor. What do you think of the weather? How did you get well? How do you feel?
- ”You.“ At this stage it is important to find the threads of connection to know better your partner.
- “I”. Now you have to tell something about yourself of course focusing on the interests of the interlocutor.
- ”You.” People remember best the first and the last thing that he heard. Therefore, before the end of the conversation let the other person talks. Then you will be remembered as a person sensitive and attentive.
7. Name of the interlocutor
Often don’t we turn to the interlocutor by his name because we don’t remember. This is what you can do to not call Maria Emilia María Elena:
- When the announcer says your name, look her in the eyes and try to remember its color.
- Invent if you can an association with the name (flower, character, film, or literature).
- Compare to your new acquaintance with a person who has the same name.
- After a few minutes, try to call him by his name.
And even if you already know it, you remember it. During a conversation go to the party more often by their name, because a person associates it with comfort, warmth and confidence.
What is more likely is that you know people that always come very close, even if you borrow a stapler. They come so close that you can feel their breath. Intuitively, in those moments we take a step back or to one side. It happens that the distance is optimal between unknown persons must be at least 1.2 meters (4 steps).
To better know a person, you can reduce this distance, but first you need to check to see if your partner feels comfortable. Ask him to pass something and if all is well he will establish a shorter distance between you.
In the choice of clothing, shoes, accessories and make-up there are three basic rules that you must follow if you’re going to get to know a person and you want to give a good impression:
- Harmony between all items and the environment.
- Comfort, therefore it is best not to wear new shoes.
- Prolixity. This is especially important, because your partner will be watching you with interest, necessarily you will see if a button is on-hook. Besides we must mention the shoes, because when the persons unknown to divert the eye often look to the floor.
10. Detail colorful
Our brain tends to exaggerate and to memorize better the fun things (the effect of humor) and strange (the effect of rarity). Don’t recommend making jokes left and right because it is not worth, as the opinion of your partner on what is funny and what is not can be radically different from yours. Scare the public with the behavior or appearance is also not worth.
A small detail but colorful and even funny in your image is what you need. For example, these stockings in the photo, which is known almost all over the world. They are used by the Prime Minister of Canada.
Bonus. A sincere smile.
The above methods can work or not with someone, because people are not robots to which is applied a statement. But the smile help always and everywhere. Therefore, although it sounds cheesy, smile! After all a smile is contagious and we appreciate those who convey us positive emotions.
What other qualities do you like in the partner?
Feel free to leave any comments here at Coolest-hacks.com