According to the statistics, the majority of parents are sure that they educate perfectly to their children, and, in general, assessed positively their teaching skills. However, in practice not everything is so ideal. Often make many mistakes in the education of children, which lead to the appearance of defects, fears and attitudes incorrect in the face of life that, later (when the children are adults), they will repeat with their own children. In this article we will tell you how you can break this vicious circle.
Great.guru compiled the advice of psychologists from all over the world, which will help parents to not to fall into the trap of negative stereotypes in education.
1. “It is wrong to chat”
From childhood, parents tell us: “do not parlotees”, and we think that is wrong. However, the psychologists are concerned about the trend of silencing the problems in the school environment. They ensure that the majority of children, due to fear of seeming like a tattletale, simply do not have anything about the bullying and harassment that may be suffering from.
In reality, adults have to teach them to the children to tell you about the injustices, and they also have to support those who dared to talk to solve their problems.
2. “A child does not have to express their negative emotions”
For parents, it is painful to see when your child suffers, cries or gets angry. Therefore, sometimes it seems easier to cry “don’t cry and don’t be sad” to find out what actually happens.
React that way to the negative behavior of a child is the worst thing you can do, since emotions need to free in order not to overload the nervous system. It is a peculiar cornerstone of the psychological health. The know to express the negativity is a quality inherent in a mature person, and it will serve your son in the future.
3. “The child has to please them to professors, friends, and neighbors”
All parents dream that their children to live in peace with others and never know what is an insult, a fight, or a great discussion. Sometimes, in order to achieve this perfection, brings into play the strategy “be good with everyone”.
Of course, it is very important to be conformational and know how to communicate with others in a respectful manner. However, do not exaggerate and try to be good with every person you meet, because for that all you deem friendly, you’ll be forced to sacrifice your interests and desires.
4. “Those who earn bad grades in school, you will not find a decent job when they are adults”
Many parents believe that the academic results of your child say how successful this will be in adult life. Of course, education plays a very important role, but it is not the only and main factor to conquer the heights of a career.
The Harvard professor, Howard Gardner, noted 8 types of intellect present in a human being, and stated that most tests of IQ assess to formal logic, while the spatial intelligence, musical, kinesthetic-bodily, and others that exist, are ignored. Something positive is that the number of investigations in which the intellect and emotional plays an important role in the success of the person they are growing in number and quality.
5. “The children there are who buy the most expensive and most modern”
The sociologists of the USA highlighted that the unnecessary expenditure on children in this country grow annually.
Ashley Eneriz, a mother and specialist in finance, says that parents spend more than the rational when it comes to the children. She advises to think about whether everything you purchase to your child is necessary for him. Maybe you try to give your children what you don’t have in your childhood? How or with the help of a toy you try to correct your faults pedagogical?
The savings in the expenses related to the education of your children does not make you a bad person. To the contrary, parent savers, with your example, can teach the child to not spend money on unnecessary things.
6. “Punish the child by taking away things”
Pedagogues claim that to deprive of something the child is not the best way to punish him for his misconduct. One of the traits most dangerous of the parents toxic is the custom of play to be God, punishing or, to the contrary, forgiving. In addition, the rules of this game are not always clear and often the punishment depends on the mood of the people.
Deprive you of something you love the child will not teach you anything good. On the contrary, he will think that the father has the power and can force him to execute his will.
7. “Children always have to entertain them”
“I don’t want my child I miss it, or is wandering around the world,” mother says that you enroll your child at the child development center, invent games, or buy the baby a new educational toy for any minute pass without being helpful. Such parents make the error of believing that your main concern is the entertainment of children, no holidays or breaks.
8. “The children have to share their toys”
The mistaken idea that children must learn to share is very common among adults. However, it is unlikely that small children, who are forced to do it to feel a sincere desire to sacrifice their things or invite a friend. But it will happen the opposite: they will be more sparing.
Psychologists advise parents to try a similar situation but in themselves. Do you want to share a personal item and very much loved with a stranger? Do you quitarías your favorite t-shirt to give to your neighbor just because he likes it? What is more likely is that the answer to that is “no”.
What about you, do you consider yourself a good parent? Share your experiences and tricks of education in the comments.
Illustrator Natalia Tylosova for Great.guru
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