A negotiator from a high-level FBI’s terrorists, Christopher Voss, told how to win at the negotiations more complex, even if the dispute was prolonged in excess. Their techniques are not only extremely effective but also simple. With a little practice, you’ll be able to move like a fish in water in any conflicting situation.
In Great.guru decided to explain the most important tricks to help you in your daily communication. We are going to learn together!
1. Listen carefully to the other
It is very important to make clear to the person that you are listening and understand. Do not insist on what’s yours. Really try to understand the whole situation. Listen to your partner with calm and kindness. Try not to evaluate it in a negative way what it says, reminds all of us it is important to feel the support and acceptance of others.
2. Repeats some of the phrases to create an effect, “mirror”
To establish a relationship of trust, repeat one or two words spoken by your interlocutor. This will demonstrate that you are listening carefully and understand its grounds. Your opponent will notice that you are using their language and start to calm down, at least a little bit. In addition, this tactic will give you time to think about what you’re going to say next. And to increase the effect of “cooperation”, speaking with a soft voice, avoid any aggressive tone.
3. Ask clarifying questions about the situation
The other “drop everything”, making many questions that serve to clarify the situation. The questions themselves and their answers to them will not be of great utility, but the most important thing is to let your partner feel that “deals” and it is he who leads the negotiations. And when your opponent loses a bellows, it is appropriate to delve deeper into what is really important to you.
4. Constructs a dialogue in which the answers have arguments
Avoid questions that you can answer “yes” or “no”. If the question is asked in such a way that the other we can have more, with this we show that we are interested in your opinion and not only the situation itself, on the reigns a discussion. If the other responds in monosyllables, there will not be a comprehensive dialogue and both will not come to an understanding.
5. Uses silence
Sometimes, the silence can be more effective than words. Above all, if you feel that the person is trapped in their emotions or in a constant and increasing tension. Your silence will encourage the other person has finished releasing everything that carries within or the will to react openly to what you, in your opinion, do you think about the situation in question.
6. Accept negative responses
Accepts “no” for an answer. Once it has been delivered, you can proceed to the active part of the negotiations. Ask questions for clarification and probing that begin with “how” and “what”. If your partner has settled on its refusal of firm form, not you ask why he does it, but on what led you to make this decision. Managing objections, remember all the above points that we have mentioned to you.
7. Label the emotions and feelings of another
It names the feelings and emotions of the other. Expressed in a loud voice that which, in your judgment, feel your partner. If you see that the other is sad, scared or does not trust you, you can say it. For example, it begins as follows: “apparently…”, and then speaks of that which, by your criterion, feel to the other person in that exact moment. Look at their response. It doesn’t matter if you were right or not in your estimation, later you will know more if you give him the chance to talk about it.
8. If you feel that the other person is very negative about contributing something positive to the situation
If you see that the other enters a phase that is very negative, distráelo, tell something nice, he jokes and looks to lower the tension for the situation. When a person is angry in excess, can not adequately assess what is happening and the discussion will not bring anything good. It is said that the wrath is not, precisely, the best advisor. So it is. If you can’t divert the attention of the other, it is best to wait to start the dialogue, until he calms down.
9. Don’t be afraid to express your opinion
People try to avoid conflicts, forgetting that ignoring them does not solve the problems. If we defend our position with the mind, we will win. The fear of expressing our negative emotions causes it to accumulate resentment, which leads to subsequent problems of greater magnitude, larger than those of which we attempt to flee at the beginning. Discuss intelligently, and face any unpleasant situation when the problem starts to appear, so communication will not be a problem.
Illustrator Natalia Popova to Great.guru
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